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KingKP

Exacta!
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I honestly have just stopped. Stopped what you might ask, stopped caring. Caring about what? I don't know I just don't fucking care in general any more I suppose. Just so much bullshit and garbage and I came to that realization driving myself to the hospital as I was spewing up blood for no apparent reason other then my body is apparently just as done as I am. The realization is what the fuck is wrong with people, In case you don't read my journals which I don't blame you if you don't, I'm fucking destroyed physically and emotionally and I have no god damn escape from it all, and in case you still don't get the picture. I'm stressed to the point where my body is physically trying to kill itself, that's what's wrong with me. And how do I deal with that, the same way I deal with everything else. By putting a fake god damn smile on and helping people out with there problems, which might I add 95% of the "problems" I help people with are relatively stupid compared to what I've got going for me, do I complain? No I don't EVER, the one time I make a journal in probably close to a year and a half that involves my well being and I get a huge slap in the face. One person I consider a friend showing any concern at all, the same person who even though they have there own real problems that I can't help them with showed concern for me, even without saying what  was wrong when I just left them to go to the hospital, they still worried themselves about me, did anybody else? Yeah actually funny thing I got about ten or so notes from people offering to help and be there if I needed to talk to them, and that was really nice, you know aside from the fact I didn't know ANY of them, and don't get me wrong I'm not upset because they tried to help me. I'm upset that instead what I got were a bunch of people I didn't know trying to take care of me instead of the people I call friends, friends who for the most part didn't even do jack shit even after I made it apparent I had problems. Nope they just avoided talking to me and left me to hang out on my own, funny enough the ones who did that actually think I'm stupid enough to believe that wasn't what they had intended at all, and to that I say GTFO, if I'm calling you my friend it obviously means I care about you in some capacity and if you're gonna pull that kinda shit with ME you can go piss off. I love my friends, and it may not seem like it but this journal isn't to bash them or anything like that. You're still my friend if you're reading this more then likely. The problem is a couple people I know from every walk of the internet are really pushing there fucking luck with how much bullshit I'm willing to put up with from a "friend". That's it no happy goodbye or anything like that I'm not even upset at this point, just remember I do still care about all of you, especially the person who worries about me as much as their own problems, and who cared enough to stay with me and talk even though they needed sleep. I also do care about the few of my friends who kinda gave a shit, I'm not angry with you either. That's it I'm done my throat is shot and my chest feels like it's on fire because of the medicine I'm taking, I'm going to bed.
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Hey it's me, how are you all doing? What surprised I'm alive I know it's only been about five months since my last journal. Okay so I normally don't like posting journals because I don't like wasting peoples time with my bull but I....I just need to vent. I'm stressed, like more stressed then I have been about anything in a long ass time. I don't know where to start I just have to much that I'm going through without even fucking going through anything. I've been worried sick about two people that are close to me and are going through there own terrible situations, but inadvertently I just caused more stress to one of them because I'm stressed out and said something fucking stupid to try and calm them down which I don't know why because it's something I hate saying to anyone but I thought I would calm them a little bit. I also would like to point out I was almost to the point of tears because I was so worried about them and now I'm still on the verge after were done talking. On top of that I'm worried sick about someone who just came back into my life even though I'm sure they don't realize it. On top of that I have an idiot who's gonna get himself killed if I'm not looking after him which is becoming increasingly difficult. On top of that I'm being threatened to be kicked out of my house because I don't make enough money at he job I'm working, all the while my parents are fucking fools who made a mistake that's probably gonna cost us our house anyways, a mistake I've disowned and refuse to take any responsibility for. All the god damn while I've only been getting about two hours sleep because of worrying and having to take care of things, and when I can fall asleep people don't respect me enough to let me stay that way. While I'm also worrying because I fond out I might have fucking cancer along with a permanently damaged eye and spine. Also I'm getting fucking sick again. I'm still not done, all this time I'm listening and watching as all people do is bitch and moan about "Boys, Girls, Cold, Hot, Blah, Meh, Geh." Shut the fuck up I'm sick of your bullshit ass garbage when I have my own fucking problems and I have two friends with real fucking problems I'm trying to take care of. All the while I'm trying to fit time in with friends who I feel are annoyed when I brush them off to take care of other friends, which isn't the case. Also I might have been the accomplice to ruining two relationships, one from running my mouth and one because someone was trying to get on mine because I was trying to help them through some relationship problems and ratted them out. So I feel just fucking peachy about that. My fucking teeth are killing me as well after I slammed my head into a metal beam, so I need to go to the dentist and get violated that way. Oh yeah my keyboard is destroyed so this is all being typed out on a on screen keyboard. And to make everything better I think I'm having the worst case of Loneliness related depression I've had in a long god damn time. And....fuck it I'm sure you don't want to hear me ramble on more.

All I want to say before I go is, if your blaming yourself for anything wrong with me just stop, especially the two that I'm trying to help through there problems, I want to help you and if I wasn't buried under 1000 other things it wouldn't even be a big deal, just both of you know that despite all that's wrong with me I still care. And to the one who I said stupid things to...I really can't do any other than apologize and hope you forgive me. I'm going to go fucking cry in a damn corner now, I'm tired, upset, lonely, frustrated, sore, sick, broken, angry, cold, and fucking hopeless at the moment. And I understand if you don't care I usually just write these to vent. I don't expect anyone to legitimately care about me.
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Hello everyone how are you? So as indicated by the over used internet meme in the tittle I wanted to thank all my watchers for getting me that far, I'm honestly flattered that people actually enjoy my writing believe it of not it really means alot to me so thank you guys for everything.

Oh yeah and today is my 18th birthday so the government can come and legally kill me now, but no one care about that so have a wonderful day my beauties. <3
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Hello my loves how are you this fine day?

So today I'm going to first talk about COD Zombies and the current standings of the maps from best to worst in my opinion, before that though I'd just like to say Die Rise....that is all.

So with the addition of three new zombies maps my list of favs has changed so I'll be giving a brief summary of the maps and why they are in the position that there in on my list. So without further ado stating with my favorite.

1. Ascension
It's the shit no more needs to be said about it, best gameplay, best perks, best dialogue, best characters (Don't get me wrong I love Marlton, and Russman, and Stu, and Misty but you can't beat the originals)

2. Die Rise
My new shit, this has to be one of the most innovative and clever ideas for a map that 3arc has come up with. Hopefully they've learned that players like the more simple yet well designed maps as apposed to the Outlandishly shitty ones. Although I have to say I'm not a fan of the new Who's Who perk but w/e not a big deal.

3. FIVE
Once again simple map that is well put together, noticing a pattern? These maps seem to be better.

4. Call of the Dead
It's borderline outlandish but still fairly well put together, just a few minor gameplay problems and f**k the new survivors.

5. Der Rise (Or however the f**k you spell it)
Eh... It's better then most.

6. Nacht Der Untoten
Can't beat the originals.  

7. Dead Ops Arcade
Damn Straight this is up there, After this is where we start getting all the garbage maps.

8. Verruckt
Not that it's bad, buuuuuut it's really small and it takes away from the enjoyment.

9. Shagri-La
No, I like the ideas of this map but just no.

10. Shino-Numa
This is where it gets tough because everything from here is baaaaaaaaaaaad

11. Tranzit
It has so many good ideas, but it's such a f**king bore.

12. Moon
It's boring with shitty new mechanics

13. Kino Der Toten
Boring and no new mechanics

14. Nuketown
Sell out garbage that is just tact on for some extra cash.

So that's that also if anyone wants to know quick list of perks

1. Juggernog
2. PhD Flopper
3. Quick Revive
4. Speed Cola
5. Stamin Up
6. Dead Shot Daiquiri
7. Double Tap 2.0
8. Mule Kick
9. Tombstone Soda
10. Who's Who
11. Double Tap Rootbeer

Also got my Dev Dead Space 3, and it's awesome except for the fact thaaaaaat.... there was no game with it....yeah. They shipped the game sepereratly for some reason so I should have it tomorrow. That being said I hope you all have a good day PEACE.
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Yep that's it, happy new years my loves. <3

The link to the ass hats page is gonna be in my journals until they get banned so here ya go if ya haven't seen burai-hellhound.deviantart.com… .

And here is where to report said ass hat help.deviantart.com/contact/
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